rose

the title's probably unnecessarily dramatic for what i'm about to bitch about. however, i'm Annoyed. i spent so much time pining over someone -- like most of the year -- only to be cast aside over a trollop with pretty eyes. to vaguely paraphrase from the addams family values, do i also not have pretty eyes? was i also not friendly and accommodating? it was talked about how, tonight, this person had standards and wouldn't just jump into bed at the slightly provocation. but in the same conversation, this person kept going on and on about how lonely they were, how horny they were, how long it'd been since they'd been kissed. i wanted to say, in my biting bitter way, how they'd had the chance and spoiled it.

but really, here's the thing. they are wildly unattractive. they act like a small child. they're disgusting and dress poorly and aren't that smart. it's like a veil's been lifted from my eyes. like i can see clearly for the first time in months. why the fuck i ever gave a shit or lusted after them -- for god's sake i would dream about them! i was being driven crazy with want! and now i don't give a shit. in fact, i give less of a shit. i don't want them to touch me! i want distance, space. to treat them like they're no one special, because they aren't. i'm not an all american girl but they're sure as fuck as american as apple pie. and it's horrifying to get a good long look with clear eyes and see what i've been missing all this time.